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The Dear Darling list _prelude

I don’t know whether if you’ll ever speak any other language than English my darling daughter, therefore i am starting this list and English i shall use.

But if you will ever be curious enough to find out more about your mother i leave you this blog. it goes way back to my careless days but i’m afraid that for the older ones you will have to learn Romanian.  I know it is not easy,  but trust me, it’s slightly easier to learn than Hungarian.

So here i am , here we are, you are sound asleep in bed with your dad as i begin to put these words down , it’s a few days before Christmas and 2018 has not been a good year. I lost my mother , your Buni this year and words cannot ever be enough to describe the pain i feel every day , not even if i were to be the best poet or writer who has ever walked the earth..  It’s you my love, you keep me connected now, around you revolves my whole universe and i hope i will show you at least half the love my own mother showed me. Then, with this hope, i will live through the rest of my days .

I love you. i’ll tell it to you everyday, even when i shout at you , even when i feel sad. i hope you will know this and feel it stronger than any other feeling. i am here always. You are the most beautiful part of me and no matter what or who comes into your life, know that your mother is always with you and will always love you . No matter what.

Now, about family: You have one. Beyond mom and dad, beyond whomever you will fall in love with and maybe marry one day, you have cousins and aunts and uncles and great uncles and aunts and at this moment, today, 3 loving grandparents and 1 quite amazing angel watching over you. Even though they all live far away, they will always receive you with open arms. All of them.One message away. Should you ever find yourself alone and scared, never hesitate to look them up.

And here it is : the reason for this list. I want you to always feel safe and not ever alone. Be strong my dear and brave. You’ve got everything else already.

Love, mom.

Posted on 21 December '18 by admin, under Eng.. No Comments.

Cum traduci cuvantul “dor?”

Zilele se contopesc cu noptile soarele imi zambeste dar mie imi este constant frig visele nu mai sunt vise mangaierile nu mai sunt mangaieri chipurile oamenilor nu mai sunt chipuri, culorile nu mai sunt culori parfumul florilor nu mai e parfum cerul nu mai e cer iar pamantul nu mai e pamant pentru ca tu Mama…

Posted on 31 May '18 by admin, under Uncategorized. No Comments.

rainy morning conversation

 She peeked her curly little head through the bedroom door: “Mommy, what are you doing? 

“Looking for myself, i mumbled, staring at the bottom of the jewelry box.

In there?? she curiously stepped in and raised herself on tiptoes to see on top of the shelf, where the box was.

Some day, i will tell you all about these jewels, they all have a story, and a history some of them. They will be yours one day and i hope you will like them.. at least some.

Are you kidding me? All mine? wow! now i can really become a princess like you.

Posted on 30 January '18 by admin, under Eng.. No Comments.

De pe hartia cu cerneala verde

Uneori ceva imi da putere si fiecare rasarit imi spune ca traiesc.

Multumesc pentru fiecare gura de aer, pentru fiecare durere de cap, pentru piersicile coapte care mi-au ciobit dintele , pentru ca ma simt  in stare sa trag prima linie cu creionul si sa vad cerul limita imaginatiei, pentru ca ma simt obosita, pentru ca dorm maxim 4 ore , pentru ca mi-e frica, pentru ca vibrez de la muzica din mine, pentru zambetul pe care il desenez inca instinctual pe caiet atunci cand vreau sa zambesc si daca n -ar suna acum telefonul poate , poate nici n-as resimti atat de puternic efectele zapuselii de afara si as multumi pentru ca am invatat sa multumesc acum mai multi ani.

Posted on 28 May '17 by admin, under Uncategorized. No Comments.

pachetel de primavara

basket1.jpg

Posted on 19 April '17 by admin, under visuals. No Comments.

Memento

Yes, Lord, I prick!
Life is not easy —
But You know that —
and I have too much on my shoulders!
I speak of my prickles
but thank You for them.
You at least
have understood me,
that is why You made me
such a pinball.
How else can I defend myself?
When people see me,
my anxious nose
searching for the fat slugs
that devastate the garden,
why can’t they leave me alone?
Ah! But when I think proper,
I can roll myself up
into my hermit life.

Amen.

Posted on 4 December '16 by admin, under Eng.. No Comments.

i am the storyteller

I was the girl that used to hear music whenever a love scene was in sight. Whether a young couple was kissing at the corned of the street or an elderly couple was holding hands i was there smiling and orchestrating symphonies in my mind. i thought i would make a nice video director one day and went to sleep with a smile.

 A dreamer, they called me, walking the earth with my heads in  the clouds all the time, could never figure out the X in the equations but always able to make up a good story about who x was and why he was always hiding.

(more…)

Posted on 13 August '16 by admin, under Eng.. 1 Comment.

miracle

we are all made of flesh and bones, of stone and water of light and darkness but what makes us us, is nothing short of a miracle. Do you believe in miracles?

Posted on 13 August '16 by admin, under Eng.. No Comments.

travel the world or how i met murakami

They say that if you really want to, you can just pack one day and leave. Any voyage is unique, they say. It’s something which you should do now, at this age, otherwise you might never get a second chance. It’s something that you were given the chance to do, while others were not that lucky. A chance is still a compromise. It’s not a gift, as long as it comes with a now or never.
It’s fabulous. It’s new, it’s extravagant! We’re the center of attention and the violence around us takes human shape.
It all slows down around us, moving in slow motion as we keep running, with our velvety hearts hidden inside a tin carcass pulsating on the rhythm of drums, almost like growing bigger and bigger, ready to push out of our chests. We melt a little each day, and we shyly flicker like the winter’s sun, trembling like a ship who just survived a storm at sea, like a tree blooming after a hard cold winter, small, frail buds on every branch bravely opening one after another, exposing its soul to a yet weak sun.
The line of the heart has been drawn a long time ago: Bucuresti -Tokyo.
I was standing, reading Murakami’s ” A wild Sheep Chase” while waiting for my train in of one of Bucharest’s busiest subway stations. Just your average Wednesday morning, on my way to work. When finally the train enters the station with a considerable 10 minutes delay, i close my book and say to myself: This would never happen in Tokyo! (more…)

Posted on 5 July '16 by admin, under Eng.. No Comments.

love is …back!

Waited for a good while to hear any news from this guy. Welcome back mr Ashcroft! Looking fwd for some rock star attitude in “These people” .

Posted on 24 February '16 by admin, under Uncategorized. No Comments.