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women are from wonderland and men are from neverland

The Alice in wonderland women among us

they are confusing , utterly needy and distressed in appearance but in fact the spoiled little brats,  they are masters of deceit and have grown ito manipulative ever restless beings… Their apparent weakness and absent minded casual whit hide a strong decided individual with some sort of an infantile predisposition that measures exactly how much of themselves to reveal in order to get the cookie. What is it that fascinates in all this ? Well, a long while treated as mental ilness melancholia is today one of those tabu words surrounded by a poethic aura . As Lars von Trier confessed about his  “Melancholia ” Lars von Trier interview -he was deeply influenced by his psichoanalyst who calmly explanned:”melancholics will usually be more level-headed than ordinary people in a disastrous situation, partly because they can say “What did I tell you” … But also because they have nothing to lose.”
Self induced Melancholia added to an infantile, selfish general behaviour leads sometimes the individual to whickedly create the very circumstances that enable him/her to manifest her/ his desired state.

There is something morbidly poetic about this state of mind which is at once calm, fearful, despairing, restless, hollow, and longing for something inexpressible. Since Poetic is what i am mostly reffered as in certain cercles and i do feel like being pampered today i ask then, and be honest to yourselves:  don’t we all lonely women fantasise about that ? About a romantic happening that should bring all of that upon us and ravish our futile existence leaving us at the mercy of faith with only enough time to relive , not at the same intensity that particular moment that we THINK was what could be a dream come true? In the meanwhile, we live in between reality and dream on the verge of melancholia. Everyday parting with the smile in the morning and greeting everyone with a smile also, but no real connection makes us tell the truth does it? The SECRET is what keeps us connected to That particular state where no man has gone before.

Us women , we like to be daddy’s girls forever, or spoiled princesses-  in case daddy was rather absent. Nevertheless, we do not enjoy being characterised as such and depending on the level of ingenuity that each one’s sense of ridiculousness allows within one’s every day behavior, we allow the others to see as much of the real us as we want. And we get terribly, terribly upset if the line is crossed,wherever the line is crossed that particular moment of the day, or if someone reveals our bare culottes by hoisting the flag on  us! Confusing huh?

Which brings us to our better halfs:  some hoisting the flag and getting a good laugh,  others crying with us words of confort but still keeping in mind the culottes and others trying to grow up crunching numbers in their head about our age and time spent in school and years of high education unfortunatelly still getting to the same conclusion in the end : “what color are this ones’ culottes i say??”

The peter pan complex:

Aaah the Pans of our lives…

“Mythologically, Peter Pan is linked to Adonis the young god who dies and is reborn…as well as to Mercury/Hermes, “Psychopomp”and messenger of the gods who moves freely between the divine and human realms, and, of course, to the great goat-god “Pan. In early performances of Barrie’s play, Peter Pan appeared on stage with both pipes and a live goat. Such undisguised references to the chthonic, often lascivious and far from childlike goat-god were, not surprisingly, soon excised from both play and novel.”

Whay Peter, don’t you know? we all grow up one day… willingly or not, you will wake up one day starring at yourself but not in a mirror.  Standing in the door of your bedroom there will be a boyish figure smiling sprightly at you and expecting the same in return! Do not be frightened .Grow up as you will, but do not lose that smile . You will need it .

Love them, hate them, cannot live without them , men. They are just boys in disguise but what differentiates Peter from Alice is exactly this: They are unaware of their disguise. They praise their boyish looks and always keep a backpack, a baseball cap or a pair of sport shoes exactly like the ones they used to wear while growing up. A sort of shadow, a constant reminder that they still have it. Nothing scares more the Pans than change.  What is confusing about them, is that despite their fear of change, of growing up, their main characteristic is that they’re  always on the move. They get bored easily.  They always seek new things to do, they push the others to move and become his accomplices, they get angry and upset when things do not go their way and when the others are fearful or refuse to follow, he takes off in a blink of an eye, swearing never to come back again…

Balls! Balls,  i say! They make you worried sick and you give up and follow them anyway, despite your own fears and what your guts tell you,mainly because you fear they get into too much trouble on their own.

But is Pan really a devious ,two faced creature ? No! He is genuinely childlish , unaware of his extreme egocentric behaviour and unwilling to accept his ingenuity. He considers himself entitled to that behavior and he genuinely and fearlessly believes he is destined to face all perils alone from the moment you ” turn your back on him” and “betray him” by saying:” NO Peter, I really do not feel like going on a dangerous dive in an underwater cave , I can’t really swim you know????”

Unlike Alice, who will always  feel like never being the right size, who will hard headedly continue to  manipulate others in thinking that she is something she is not in order to be liked/ loved/ worshipped as she does with the mad hatter:

M. H:” Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks Hatter’s temperature]A.K:  I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are”

Peter on the other hand will compromise in the end. He is making his own way to adulthood by taking responsibility of his friends safety , becoming their leader, their protector but loudly boasting about that : Cocledoodledooo!!Look what I can do for you!”

Posted on 25 October '13 by admin, under Eng., Uncategorized.